清醒的声音

早上看到这篇书评:http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/23/books/23thomas.html?_r=1
关于Michael Thomas's Man Gone Down.
作者对自己得奖原因和后果的思考和提问, 表现出一种对当下政治和与政治有关的文化市场极其清醒的认识, 那种不轻易相信任何表象, 时刻反省的态度让我想立刻开始读他的小说.

相比之下, H 这个我一直试图在人前为之defend作者就逊色太多了. H好象总想对舆论证明自己作品的受承认不是因为非文学因素, 但他有意无意的撇清却总因了实际上并不太出色的技法而适得其反. 如果他能对自己作品的市场接受进行深层思考和反省, probably his writing can become more interesting. His latest book seemed so tedious that i kept falling asleep over it on my last flight from AA. and i tried to finish it after i got back but decided to give it up. it's not that i couldn't bear the extremely bland style of prose; it's simply unbearable that between the lines of that prose i couldn't find anything as deep and thoughtprovoking as the author's name seemed to have promised. I'll stop defending him. for after all, i was just trying to defend a voice from home, or the home itself.

about the film I haven't seen

The official favorable reviews of Lu Chuan's Nanking Nanking made me suspicious about the film-- for years, I've found it impossible to like the officially acclaimed works. And then i'm relieved, sadly(because i almost wished my doubt could turn out ungrounded), to find different and thoughtful and very informative reviews like these:

http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_49b4dd4e0100d41f.html

and

http://rna.blog.hexun.com/32183285_d.html

I'd like to do some historical research on this when I'm done with the dissertation. One more year. I decided that it would be too outrageous if i do more than 8 years.

快三岁了.

Eugene居然就要三岁了!

躺在床上长长一个人,小小crib都快不够睡了, 问他要不要买新床,无比恋旧的他当然是大喊不要.

近来最爱抱怨"睡觉太慢"--他发明的句子, 表示sleeping takes too much time, 他着急玩, 实在没耐心躺着呀.

自从开始去preschool教室适应环境, Eugene就不再说不要上学了. 正巧原来的那个严厉老师最近也不在, 上学忽然变得好玩起来. 对新玩具和大孩子产生浓厚兴趣. 放学回来, 我问他, 听不听得懂他们说什么, 他老实回答听不懂, 却还是开心的.

little gym一学期快结束了, Eugene各项体能没大长进, 胆子还是不够大. 可爱的老师一点不给压力, 鼓励有加, 还总花时间来陪我们这个差生单独玩, L和我屡屡谈起, 在对待小孩子的弱点上, 觉得很受老师启发.

最近的问答--
--明天是什么day?
--Monday.
--明天还要上学?
--上学.
--上次, Monday怎么是Memorial Day, 就不上学?
--是, 上次是holiday.
--明天怎么不是holiday?
--阿... ... (ft, 是不是holiday也不是Mommy我说了算啊.)

好象该改改我的blog主题了? Eugene已经成了中心.

深夜, 我们轻轻谈Eugene好玩的地方, 他居然是这样sentimental的. 一岁多的时候就曾因为看日落流露伤感; 前些时候有次路边野地里摘了小小蒲公英花给他玩, 拿回来后天黑了小花就慢慢合上了花瓣,他看到了, 立刻伤心起来, 好象小花的离去是天大的失落; 今天生病在家, 我开了电视陪他打发时间, 看到Pokemon: Jirachi the Wishmaker, 可爱的小精灵Jirachi最后因为救助朋友而幻化成光亮消散在天地间, Eugene就又难过了, 眼泪夺眶而出.

怎么会这样呢? L 说是因为遗传我,　可是,　妈咪我也是崇尚坚强的呀,　看NBA都是喜欢tough guy如C Billups.　怎么让小人tough些呢? 他倒也爱跟爸爸看球赛, 热爱游泳, 唉......

How are you, last night

With a "Ding---" magnified through the computer speakers, "How are you?" Your greeting popped up on the little window of my yahoo messenger, now rarely used given the countless other ways of online communications (such as google chat, MSN/window's live, Facebook, and the newly heard "Twitter"?). You and I both like old things, I know, as if clinging to the past will save us from all the trouble future will inevitably bring. Quite silly, aren't we?

"fine. thank you." Whatelse can I say. Diss. is going slowly, as always; plus it was the time of the day when Eugene started to feel so sleepy that he would make every effort to STOP us from taking him to bed. The whole apartment echoed with reluctance, resistance, and tiredness.

"how are you?? sorry i can't talk now-- will be back in about an hour?" As usual, it was probably two hours later when i got back to the desk. and of course
you were gone.

I'm thinking of writing a long, long, very long email to you. Believe me, I'm thinking of it every day. But again, what shall I say except
the diss. about Asian American poetry, which has been going on forever, the beloved baby, who is by now no longer a little baby, and his impatient teacher at the super-expensive daycare, the weird water coming from underneath the carpet in our apartment--how magic-realistic it sounds!-- the rain here, the problematic(?) tax return, and all the other details of my life that constantly threaten to drown my old dreams?

oh, but, we both love life, don't we, or we must say so no matter what?

Eugene的pretend游戏玩得出神入化, 任何动画故事或生活场景都可以用玩具家具各种道具模拟表演, 自己在想象世界里回味无穷, 还要求我们一同进入角色, 念念有词加上身体语言, 忙得不亦乐乎, 热衷程度几乎到了令人担忧的程度. 我只有去google -- 是这样一种search 和research的强迫症吧 -- 试图寻求有关幼儿游戏的研究, 并没有什么特别发现.
好在天气渐渐好起来, 应该能多带他出去玩了.

每天都不愿去上学, 爱哭的Eugene, 一定觉得学校很没意思吧.
不到三岁的小人, 每天提的问题多到我们应接不暇, 在学校里大概没人问, 不好玩.

--开车时候轮子为什么会动?
--停车时候怎么不动?
--飞机为什么会飞?
--bus, fire-truck为什么不会飞?
--今天为什么下雨?
--天上云多为什么就会下雨?
--怎么不下雪?
--树为什么到springtime就会长小叶子?
--Soap[洗手]怎么会有bubble?
--用water怎么没有bubble?
--[耳朵贴在桌面上听瓶子倒在桌上的声音] 哈哈, 为什么好响?
--怎么躺在沙发上听[东西掉在沙发上], 没有好响?
--为什么小baby会哭?
--为什么小baby不会走路?
--为什么宝宝小baby时候不会讲话?
--为什么宝宝还不长大?
--我们为什么要吃好多东西?
... ...