Why do I have to be apologetic? I have no reason to apologize to anyone for my study of English lit. My English isn't perfect, but so what?
--Perhaps that's the attitude that I should have.
It's ridiculous that I could feel so bad about myself when the dream is almost true.
SS said that I should think about how to celebrate-- not for the past, but for the future. But what is my future??
Ten days before the defense, I'm still revising, and probably will never be able to finish. The chair tried not to be too harsh, but I know she wished i could have written better. yes, if only i had stayed here and worked more closely with her-- but that wasn't my fault, or anybody's. what's the point of saying this to me now, after all these years?
Anyway, i'll do as much revision as i can today and work as long as i can tonight. What will the draft look like tomorrow morning is already beyond my concern.
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I shouldn't have gone to the forum yesterday. More than ever before I felt there wasn't anybody to talk to. Gave a 10 minute mini-presentation, and nobody seemed interested. But that was ok. What really made me feel terrible was the fact that the forum I once loved was definitely gone, probably never to be found again.
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Hm... yes, it's indeed a time to let go of the past and think about the future.
5 comments:
Whoever SS is is right. Cheer up and enjoy the lightness of being for the moment though it seems unbearable. You turned in the final draft today? Congratulations for finishing another milestone!
dear. thank you. SS is one of the committee members. her idea of celebration is indeed lovely... she told me that it might take as long as one year to figure out how to "celebrate" :)
anyway, nice talk to you now. the draft is now in the copy shop...
dear, nice talking to you too,and thank you for pushing me to focus on writing:)
Congratulations, Xiwen! This is indeed a milestone! --Rong
thanks, Rong.
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